what my heart tells me

ok yes i am updateing for the first time in over a year. about 6 or 7 months ago i realized i had feelings for a certain girl that i have been freinds with for over 2 years. things started out very odd because of a mistake i made right off. but we worked things out and i found that i would have to wait on her for about a year if i wanted to date her. so after some hard thaught and prayer god told me she was for me. I then told her that i would wate as long as needed. About 3 months or so later we had grown to love eachother and become closer than i would have ever imagined possible more than a year ago. as weeks went on her and her family grew to love me (for the most part). eventually her mom told her to not wait as long as originally planned because i was good enough for her. We started officially dating maybe a month before school started, and then when we would hang out it wasnt much differnent which i didnt mind of course because she is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. I for one am not good with relationships, but she has taught me to love unconditionally even though i may not seem to. im not sociable but i always found something to say or do to keep things interesting. This girl has done nothing but keep me on my toes wanting to see her every waking moment and hold her every minute of the day, year, and rest of my short life. every time i go to see her i feel a want to do be and look the best possible. but for some reason NOW things have change some how in some form. I cant explain it but she and i know seem diffrent. i it is mainly because of college and the fact i dont get to see her. I feel the need when i see her to not do something stupid or say or act in a way that can mess things up because i hardly get to see her. Ive never truly had much in common nor have i ever had much to say but now things are diffrent. For some reason we dont talk period. i dont know why but we dont. The last weekend when we could hang out we hung for 30 minutes or so then i didnt see her for the rest of the show. I wish things could be the way they used to be where nothing mattered and we were happy within eachother the way we are. i know things have changed but they can be worked on and i wanyt to work them out. We have to tell eachother these things as they happen or we will never get through anything. you are everything to me. you have been there for me whenever i was down or sad. you have taught me to be trustful and true. you  and you alone have me. i love you always..